Dangerous Pie, Dangerous Book

Okay, I'll admit it.  When I read Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie by Jordan Sonnenblick, there might have been some moments when I teared up a bit.  There might also have been moments when I had to put the book down and get a tissue. 

Specifically, I'm referring to the chapter called "The Fat Cat Sat."  Steven seems confused and in pain in this chapter.  He seems to use anger and his acerbic (ooh, good vocab word!) sense of humor to deal with Jeffery's cancer diagnosis.  He sounds really angry and sarcastic, but I actually think this is a mask for other feelings.  I think he feels scared and guilty.  Since Steven is Jeffery's "Protector," it really bothers Steven that he couldn't "save" his little brother.  I think this because on page 41, Steven says: "But for some reason on that first horrible night, it seemed as though everything I ever did to Jeffery had probably caused some horrible genetic damage."

I felt a lot of sympathy for Steven when I read this quote on page 44: "When [Mom] told me that [Jeffery] would have to go with her to the big city in the morning to see another doctor, all he had asked was, 'Will Steven come, too?'  This was the one piece of information that put me over the edge.  I started crying..."

Me, too.

I deeply identified with Steven's emotions in this chapter.  When he talks about the excitement and then the let-down of experiencing Jeffery's being born, I knew exactly what he meant.  I experienced the same thing, too, when my younger brother was born.  Like Steven, I've also always felt like my brother's Protector.  And like Jeffery, my brother has always idolized me.  In some ways, I have not always been able to be my brother's Protector.  I feel sad and a little guilty about this.  I think Steven probably feels the same way.  It's hard when relationships change.  I hope Steven can come to terms with Jeffery's cancer, and that their relationship becomes stronger, even if it does change.